You Can Be Born Again Without Having a Born-Again Experience

I love being a pastor. For some, the idea of a vocation that never shuts down seems dreadful. Pastors can’t leave their job at work on Friday at 5 PM. It’s one of those callings that stays with you wherever you go, and I love even that aspect of it. If I wasn’t a pastor, I would miss out on so many opportunities. For example, a while back at my wife’s family Thanksgiving dinner, I got to have a spontaneous counseling session with a dear family member who was struggling over the question of assurance of salvation. Would I get to do that if I wasn’t a pastor?

She asked me a question I’ve been asked many times: How can I know I’m a Christian if I can’t remember the exact time and place of my conversion? It’s a heartfelt concern for many. We grow up celebrating these amazing stories about drastic conversions of people who were very clearly running away from God before they dramatically turned toward Christ. That’s my own story. But for many, these stories lead to confusion. Why didn’t I have an experience like that? Am I really born again?

The Bible is clear. Jesus told Nicodemus, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). Nicodemus was confused by this statement. Birth is not something human beings typically get to repeat. How can one be born again? Jesus clarified, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit” (John 3:6). The kingdom of God, which is another way of speaking about the ultimate destination of God’s people where God’s reign is universally recognized and death and sin are no more, can only be entered by people who have experienced the new birth of God’s Spirit.

Other passages in the New Testament shed light on this experience. Paul writes, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Peter adds, “According to [God’s] great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3).

The new birth is tied to Jesus’s resurrection. The resurrection of Jesus was the inauguration of God’s new age, or the kingdom of God. Through his resurrection, Christ defeated the curse of sin and won the ultimate victory over death forever. By faith, Christians are united to Christ and get to participate in both his death and resurrection. That process begins in this life as the old man passes away through Christ’s death and the new man is raised “to walk in newness of life” (Romans 6:4) through Christ’s resurrection. God’s inaugurated kingdom will be consummated in the future when Christ returns. On that day, those who have experienced the new birth in Christ will undergo a physical transformation and inherit resurrection bodies equipped to live in God’s kingdom forever.

So far, so good. But what if I can’t point to a definitive moment in my life where I can say confidently, “That’s when it happened”? Notice the order of Paul’s words above, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” He reasons from the present to the past. If you are currently in Christ, he argues, you can be certain that you have experienced the new birth. Do you believe the gospel? Is Christ your only hope in life and in death? Do you believe that you are saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone? If you believe, you have experienced the new birth. No one finds Christ without it.

Notice that the Bible rarely describes what the new birth looks like in the experience of the Christian. In fact, Jesus seems to counter any attempt to standardize the born-again experience when he tells Nicodemus, “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:8). The sovereign Spirit of God distributes his born-again power in his own timing and in his own way. We must resist the temptation to universalize any one person’s experience. As far as I can tell, history contains only one true “Damascus Road” experience.

Some people will discover God’s grace in Christ at such an early age that life in Christ is their only memory. Others will grow up in strong moral families such that they repent, not of rebellion, but of trusting in their own righteousness. Some come to faith gradually over time and can’t point to one definitive moment. We must leave room in our churches to account for all the ways God’s Spirit decides to move. If you are in Christ, you are born again—even if you’ve never had a born-again experience.